We live in a society that pushes hustle culture or the ‘that girl’ routine down our throats. All in all, these things aren’t necessarily bad. That’s until we feel depressed because we can’t keep up with the standards set by ‘gurus’. So, I bring you an ‘it’s okay’ list, i.e., a permission slip to be a human.
I love writing these kinds of posts. Posts that aren’t supposed to do well ‘commercially’, in other words, aren’t highly searched and will probably result in low traffic to my blog. But they are real.Â
I have felt immense pressure to ‘be perfect’. Get up early, exercise daily, follow societal norms, etc. However, in reality, I am the opposite of a morning person, and loathe exercising.Â
You see where I am getting at?
My ‘it’s okay’ moments might be unpopular opinions, but I don’t disregard the value of some of the advice from gurus. The point I want to get across is that it’s okay to follow your own path and form your own personal opinions.
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A List of ‘It’s Okay’ Moments
1. It’s okay not to be a morning person
I get it, early bird catches the worm… Well, I don’t like worms. I get a burst of energy at night. My mornings consist of 2 cups of coffee accompanied by a grumpy attitude. No one wants that.
Now, getting up too late in the mornings also results in a grumpy Steph. My sweet spot is between 7 am and 8 am. But the 5 am club??? I don’t know how you guys do it. The only place you will catch me awake at 4 am is in the Kruger National Park to go for a game drive. Other than that, I am a night owl through and through.
And that is okay.
2. You don’t have to have it all figured out
I am 28 and still figuring out certain aspects of my life. I only figured out my desired career path at 26 after student debt and a degree I don’t use. At 27, I figured out where I want to live, i.e., the hometown I was certain wasn’t for me in high school.
You have time. You don’t have to be a millionaire traveling the world at 25. Solutions and clarity come with time. All of us have our own timelines. Don’t feel rushed because other people have it figured out before you.
3. It’s okay not to want to follow societal norms
Unpopular opinion: I think societal norms are a load of (fill in the blank).
Societal norms are outdated, and we can rewrite the rules. For example:
- You don’t have to go to college. We have so many opportunities these days that don’t require a degree.
- Children don’t have to be something you want.
- Define your definition of success. Spoiler alert: Money doesn’t have to be the standard by which you measure success.
- You are allowed to say no without an explanation.
That being said, there are positive social norms you shouldn’t disregard:
- Greet people
- Always say ‘thank you’
- Be kind
- Make eye contact during conversations, etc
4. You are allowed to be different
Being different is what sets us apart. Me personally, I don’t plan on fitting the mold. I am known to be outspoken, voicing my opinions, and following a path I believe in.Â
So what does ‘being different’ look like?
- You don’t have to share everything online. If social media isn’t for you, that’s okay.
- You can love things ‘people your age’ grew out of. Devour animations, buy a glittery pen, play Sims (guilty), and have a pink bedroom.Â
- It’s okay to look visibly different. If you don’t like makeup, don’t wear it. If you like bold fashion, flaunt it. Get a tattoo sleeve if that’s what you’re into.
I am sure this list can go on and on. Being different shouldn’t be frowned upon. We are unique, let’s not hide it.
5. It’s okay not to read every day
The traditional ‘guru guide’ tells you to read daily. Fair enough, right? Reading means improving and growing.
Well, I am pretty sure they refer to self-help books. However, I don’t see myself devouring those books daily. It’s okay to be more into fiction than nonfiction, and it’s most definitely okay to not read every day.Â
I only started reading regularly this year. However, I read fiction, and it consumes me. I have no self-discipline to stop lol. Once I start something new, I become obsessed until it eventually fades away. But that’s a story for another time.
6. It’s okay not to exercise daily
Okay, don’t come for me! I get the benefits of exercising, and I fully stand behind it. However, do I like exercising? Nope, I hate it. It’s just not for me, and believe me, I tried.Â
I know I have to become more active, especially since my job involves sitting (a lot). It’s a work in progress, i.e., I want to start walking on the treadmill with my dog. Yup, she’s my only motivation (she’s overweight). However, I rarely eat junk and keep a healthy diet. That balances each other out. Right?Â
All in all, I am not against exercising, but you don’t have to push yourself to do it daily.
7. You are allowed to have opinions
Oh, and trust me, I don’t lack in this department. However, keep it respectful. If you really believe in your opinion, you don’t have to start an argument to get your point across. Anyways, it is more powerful when you keep your composure.
Stand up for your beliefs, and don’t just agree because you’re afraid of the fallout.
8. It’s okay to cancel plans
As an introvert, my social battery runs low most of the time. I usually get myself into situations where I agree to an outing, and then regret it when the time comes.
That being said, I don’t cancel plans often, because my social circle revolves around my sisters and parents lol. And I love their company. However, plans with friends are another story.
It isn’t rude to cancel plans. You are entitled to put your mental health first. Don’t fall into the trap of people pleasing.
9. Let’s talk about journaling
Yes, I promote journaling on my blog. It has many benefits. That being said, I sometimes go weeks without journaling.Â
It’s a good habit to build, but it’s not detrimental to treat it like a vibe rather than a rule. Journaling is 100% a vibe thing for me. However, when I am feeling down, it becomes a rule.Â
Journal at your own pace. You can check out this guide to journaling for beginners if you need tips
10. It’s okay not to hustle
Hustle culture has become the new normal. I lean more toward hustle culture than domestic life, personally, but there is nothing wrong with not wanting to follow hustle culture.
 Some people love the grind and others don’t. There is no wrong here. Once again, it comes down to your definition of success. If success means money to you (and it’s okay if it does), then hustling is your playground. If having a home filled with people you love, then slow living is more up your alley. Maybe you like a 9-5, and that’s also okay.
The point is you don’t have to follow hustle culture.
11. It’s okay to be traditional
‘Trad wives’ have been trending for a while now, and I see many mixed reviews. Well, I see nothing wrong with wanting a traditional lifestyle.
So, you want to marry, have kids, and have a golden retriever named Harvey. There is nothing wrong with that. Do I want that? Probably not. That doesn’t mean other people are wrong to choose this lifestyle.Â
If you want to bake sourdough bread and arrange playdates for your kids, go for it. It’s okay.
12. It’s okay to be a type A woman
I had a hard time with this one for the longest time!
A type A personality shows traits like ambition, drive, and assertiveness. So you can see that someone who grew up traditionally could have trouble with this. I mean full-blown mid-life crisis standards.
However,
- It’s okay to be overly ambitious
- You are allowed to set high standards for your life
- It’s okay to be goal-oriented and career-driven
As a woman, it could be hard to embrace a type A lifestyle since society tells us otherwise. I was at the receiving end of this, mostly inside my mind. Today, I love being a type A woman and am proud of it. Even when it comes with exhaustion and trouble relaxing. It makes me happy to chase goals and focus on my career.
13. Girls, let’s talk meds
You are not weak because you are on medication for your mental health. It is nothing to be ashamed about and should definitely not be taboo.
Mental health complications are skyrocketing because of the immense pressure we experience. Mostly, financial pressure. Or maybe you are diagnosed with a mental health illness. And btw, it’s still a real illness even if it cannot be seen.
However, go to a psychiatrist for a prescription. I got meds from my GP once, oh, and it was a mistake. A psychiatrist knows what they are doing, and they understand the medicine. It is the best thing I could have done for myself a couple of years ago. I don’t talk much about my mental health on my blog, but I can say I am on meds and I’ve never been better.
14. It’s okay to rest (even if you haven’t earned it)
I always feel guilty when I relax. It is a very unproductive (and annoying) way to rest. I am still working on this mindset.
You don’t have to earn a break. Listen to your body. I advocate for consistency to achieve your goals. But consistency doesn’t mean 100% every day. Some days are a 15% day, and that’s okay.
15. Let’s talk hobbies
Two things:
- You don’t have to monetize your hobbies
- You are allowed to monetize your hobbies
There literally is no wrong answer here. I lean more toward monetizing hobbies because I cannot relax for the life of me *waving a red flag*.
In addition, you don’t have to feel bad if you don’t have many hobbies. I hated when people asked me what hobbies I have, cause until recently it was a solid 0. Okay, maybe a 0.5.
I play Sims every once in a blue moon, and, frankly, I was embarrassed to admit that to people. I also tried to monetize it to feel better about myself – you can check it over here. Then this year I started reading, and I am not planning to monetize that. Well… except for wanting to write my own book now. That’s progress, right?
Conclusion
See this list of ‘it’s okay’ moments as your permission slip to be authentically you. Because your life is worth living by your standards. Whether you lack hobbies or hate mornings, it’s okay.
Let me know your ‘it’s okay’ moments in the comments below!
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Have a great day wherever you are in the world!
Love, Steph ♥
