“How to be happy in life?” This is becoming an increasingly popular Google search, sadly.
According to Jon Clifton: The Global Rise of Unhappiness and How Leaders Missed It, the trend for unhappiness is getting increasingly worse. He asked people how they would rank their lives given a 10 is the best possible life and a 0 is the worst possible life.
In 2006, 3.4% of people were living their best lives and 1.6% ranked their lives as zero. 15 years later the top 3.4% has more than doubled, while the bottom 1.6% who have ranked their lives a zero has quadrupled.
Therefore concluding:
- The number of people who rank their lives as a 10 is increasing slowly
- The ones ranking their lives as a zero are increasingly growing at a fast rate.
Thus leaving us with an ever-growing gap between the groups.
So, why am I miserable and how can I change it?
To answer that question I have identified 3 reasons why you may not be happy. Through these reasons, we can determine practical tools to help achieve a happy and fulfilled life.
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3 Reasons You Are Miserable + How To Be Happy
There are way more than 3 reasons that can be applied. We hear these conventional reasons all the time.
It can be things such as:
- An unhealthy diet
- No exercising
- Never going outside
- Lack of sleep
- Loneliness and isolation
- Drugs and alcohol
- And more
But today I want to go in a little bit deeper in the human psyche.
1. You lack any purpose
This is probably the one I can relate to the most. I have been driven by ambition and the need to prove myself since I can remember.
Then imagine just waking up one day from a deep figurative sleep and realising you don’t have an idea what you are doing. Suddenly you are struck by a numbness.
Having a purpose will contribute to your overall happiness. Once we have a purpose we feel useful and valuable to society.
Do you know what your purpose is?
I didn’t for the longest time and that’s okay. Luckily I have these 3 powerful tools you can use to find your purpose!
Start your search on how to be happy in life by finding your purpose.
2. You are an overthinker
My favorite trigger word. Oh, how I love to burden myself with overthinking and the horrible consequences of it! (That is 100% sarcasm by the way).
Overthinking is more common in women, 57%, and 73% of people between the ages of 25 and 35. So good news for me, I only have 9 years left then I am out of the red!
Overthinking can be about so many things, such as stressing about:
- Past, present, or future
- Finances
- Relationships
- Careers
- Other’s judgment
“Studies show that ruminating on stressful events can, over time, lead to anxiety and depression,” said Dr. Fowler a director of professional wellness at Houston Methodist.
Conversely, overthinking has also been linked to being a creative genius. So we have that going for us!
Overthinking is a disruption of daily life. It engulfs you in a negative mindset.
Overthinking might be one of the reasons you searched Google for “how to be happy in life”.
However, we are capable of managing our overthinking instead of managing us:
- Vent about it to someone you trust or see a therapist.
- Get a hobby to distract you. Here is a list of 40+ hobbies you might enjoy!
- Acknowledge your wins.
- Write in a journal.
- Go outside and take deep breaths.
You can do many more practical things, but the shift in your mind is the difficult part. Start with some practical exercises and the mindset will follow.
3. You mask your feelings
It is very unhealthy to bottle your emotions up and not talk about it.
There are many reasons for people to mask their true feelings:
- Acceptance from the crowd
- Avoid facing your feelings
- Fear of judgment
- Fear of being a burden
Can you relate to these?
How many times have you isolated yourself because you do not want to be judged or that no one will understand?
Holding onto all these emotions on your own is just a bomb waiting to explode. And once it explodes it can be hurtful to everyone involved. You can say things you don’t mean or vice versa.
Learn to talk.
Here is what I suggest:
- Make coffee.
- Find someone you can trust. You can talk to a parent, partner, or therapist even.
- Ask them to listen and vent about everything that bothers you.
- After you empty your heart they can give advice.
- And get a hug.
I have found that sometimes it is just necessary to vent and then your thoughts will fall into place on their own.
Conclusion
Yes, unhappiness is an epidemic of our time with many factors contributing to it.
Once you have a purpose or are in the process of figuring it out, you will have less time to overthink. Your time will be used finding something you love and that will lead to feeling productive.
Once you overthink less, less time is spent masking and ruminating on emotions.
Remember one thing, don’t wait for happiness. Create it.
I hope this helps you to find happiness in life. Enjoy the journey!
Love, Steph.
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