The number of things I learned in my 20s is a treasure trove of experiences I’ll carry with me forever. Your 20s are definitely a decade for growth and I wish I had known some of these lessons earlier.
I am 27 right now and let me tell you… My 20s have been a rollercoaster, to say the least! I made some of my fondest memories and navigated through some of the hardest times. But I learned from it and gathered nuggets of wisdom along the way.
Get a head start with these life lessons and fill your 20s with experiences. Welcome to 27 things I learned in my 20s!
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27 Things I learned in my 20s - A list of powerful life lessons
1. Always revert to default mode
We all experience our “Who am I?” and “What should I be doing with my life?” era. Well, I had an epiphany the other day.
I questioned a lot of things about my life: my purpose, my mannerisms, what drives me, whether I am making the right choices, why I have this kind of personality, and the list goes on.
Until I realized that what I’m doing now perfectly aligns with who I was before society and my surroundings influenced me i.e. when I was a kid. This gave me clarity and peace of mind, reassuring me that I was on the right path.
I like to call it your default mode.
Here are some examples:
- I wrote poems and stories as a child – now I write blog posts
- I was known to be friendly, spontaneous, and always smiling – now I spread positivity and kindness wherever I go (I believe that this is one of the reasons God placed me on this Earth)
- I always cherished and loved animals – now one of my main goals is to contribute to wildlife charities and I may have a new exciting project planned *wink*
- I was always goal-oriented, ambitious, independent, and wanted to work by myself – now I am a blogger and entrepreneur who’s always aiming to do better
The crux of the theory is that my current self reflects my younger self i.e. my default mode.
2. Listen to hear and not to react
Oh me, oh my. There are a lot of people that need to learn this lesson.
I am still a very fiery woman. However, there was a time when I was extremely hot-headed and had a smart mouth. I cooled down though.
Listen to hear and not to react. This will result in less conflict and higher emotional intelligence.
3. Kindness cost nothing
The joy that kindness brings me is truly immeasurable.
Greet the cashier, smile at the car guard (my American friends might not know what this means lol), hold the door for people, and don’t be shy with compliments. It costs nothing.
Spread positivity and kindness. You never know the ripple effect it might have.
4. Invest in skills not things
5. Don’t hesitate to talk about your dreams
You know, I’ve done this until recently. I hesitated to tell people what I did, fearing they wouldn’t understand. I avoided it.
I only spoke about it to a few people and limited myself in case I became too intense or passionate – Yes, I’ve been told that.
But now I speak confidently and don’t hesitate to share my dreams.
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6. Life starts on the other side of your comfort zone
Your comfort zone might feel safe but in reality, it’s the most dangerous place to be.
Everything you want in life lies on the other side of it. You have to be willing to navigate through the four phases of your comfort zone:
- Comfort zone – where you feel safe and comfortable
- Fear zone – where you are affected by opinions and lack confidence
- Learning zone – where you gain new skills and experiences
- Growth zone – where dreams become a reality
Learn more about stepping outside of your comfort zone here.
7. Take risks
You are only 20-something. It’s the perfect time to take calculated risks. You have more than enough time to bounce back.
Calculated risks can change your life and lead to rewards. Sometimes opportunities disguise themselves as risks. All you need to do is jump.
8. What other people think is irrelevant
Do what makes you happy.
If you care about other people’s opinions you will never do the things you want. It is one of the biggest things I learned in my 20s.
I cared what people might think of my career choice and it held me back for years and then I decided my dreams are more important than what other people might think.
I’d rather take judgmental opinions than regret.
9. You only have to make 3 ‘people’ proud
Never do things for approval or acceptance.
However, there are 3 ‘people’ you need to make proud:
- Your younger self
- Your future self
- God
10. There is power in silence
I said you should listen to hear and not react. Well, I want to add to that.
There is power in silence.
Sometimes keeping quiet is the best outcome. You don’t always have to respond. Besides, silence speaks volumes.
11. Life is not a competition
Everyone moves at their own pace. Constantly competing with others can breed insecurity and anxiety.
Your journey is unique. Focus on your growth and progress.
12. Define what success means to you
I heard this on a Rob Dial podcast years ago!
Success means something else for everyone and no one’s definition is wrong. Maybe you’ll feel successful once you buy your dream house or success means traveling the world.
My definition of success goes like this: To be able to do what I want when I want whilst building a successful career.
Comment yours down below!
13. It’s okay to not have everything figured out
Calm down. Most of us in our twenties do not know what we should be doing but that’s the beauty of it – your twenties are the process of figuring things out.
This is an important thing I learned in my 20s. You are allowed to be confused. Use this decade to test the waters and see where life takes you.
14. Failure builds resilience
None of us like to fail. However, failure builds resilience.
No matter how many times you fall, always get up. You never know how far you are from achieving your dreams.
Visualize every failure as a stepping stone to reaching your goal.
15. Experiences > Material things
Material things never last but you can cherish experiences forever.
People who know me will tell you that I hate spending money. I never buy nice things for myself. However, when it comes to experiences I don’t think twice (within a budget of course)!
I will gladly pay money to go on a holiday or swing off a mountain – 10/10 recommend. I will never forget those moments. It’s far more valuable than any materialistic item I could buy.
16. Dream without limitations
Another thing I learned in my 20s is that being realistic is a dream killer.
No successful person ever dreamed realistically. It’s the worst advice you can ever receive. Sometimes my dreams terrify me… And guess what, it’s exhilarating!
17. Nurture your relationships
A study has shown that happiness is primarily determined by the relationships closest to you.
That being said, ensure that the relationships in your life are healthy and nurture them.
Call your parents, visit friends, tell people you love them, and try to attend every family event.
18. Choosing your husband is the most important choice you will make in your life
You will spend every single day with your husband for as long as you live. Choose wisely.
Don’t compromise on your standards. And girl, you are allowed to have high standards. This is the most important decision you will ever make – take it seriously.
19. Time is your most valuable asset
You might not realize it but time is worth more than money.
Don’t waste your time on things that do not matter. Be stingy with it because you will never get it back.
20. Don’t fall into the comparison game
Cut anyone or anything from your life that causes you to compare yourself.
Here is a little personal story: Social media, in particular Instagram, was bad for my mental health. My reels were dominated by people traveling the world – a dream I’ve always aspired to accomplish. It made me compare myself.
So, what did I do? I retaught my algorithm to stray away from traveling videos. I never see those reels anymore to this day. Instead, I watch motivational podcast clips.
21. Control what you can and let go of what you can’t
When you embrace this mindset your life will change. No, I’m not overreacting *lol*.
Trust me, it’s liberating the moment you realize you cannot control what other people do or say.
22. Skincare is essential
Don’t sleep on skincare – a lesson courtesy from my mother.
You will regret it when you are older. Establish a skincare routine that fits you and stick to it. I have a dry skin and use these affordable products:
- CeraVe Cleanser
- Bionike Toner
- Skin Republic Hyaluronic Acid
- The Ordinary Retinol
- CeraVe moisturizing cream
- And the most important of all – Bio Oil
23. Dance all the time
I know this one might sound left field but I cannot think of a better dopamine kick!
I dance when I cook, when I’m getting ready for the day, etc. Last night I danced when we were braaing (it was Heritage Day in South Africa) and I can feel the burn today *lol*.
24. Get a dog
I had to add this one even though it might not be for everyone.
My dogs helped me so much through the lowest times in my 20s. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. They single-handedly carried me through the toughest times.
25. If you really want to you will
This is probably the harshest lesson I learned in my 20s.
If you really want to travel, build a business, or be financially free you will create a plan to get there.
Dreams without action are merely wishes.
26. Love is a choice
Falling in love with someone is out of your control but staying in love is a conscious choice.
Staying in love requires intentional effort. Passion alone won’t keep a relationship alive. Choose to nurture your connections.
27. Your parents are getting older
Yeah, this one stung when I realized it years ago.
Value the time you have with them and cherish every second. One day you will have to navigate life without them… I can’t even begin to think how that will work. They are quite literally my biggest fans and confidants ♥
Conclusion
Your 20s are for growth, experiences, struggles, and learning the tough lessons life has to offer. I hope these things I learned in my 20s will help you navigate a decade of uncertainty and adventures!
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Have a great day wherever you are in the world!
Love, Steph ♥
