Are you guilty of self-destructing? Perhaps you aren’t even aware of it? I compiled 8 warning signs of self sabotaging behaviour for you to transform sabotage into success.
Self sabotaging is when people do things that consciously or subconsciously mess up their own progress, goals, and well-being.
Recognizing the signs of self sabotage is the first step toward breaking free. Let’s dive into the signs and how to form pathways for success!
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8 Signs You're Sabotaging Your Success Story
1. You are underselling yourself
Does this sound familiar?
- “I am not smart or skilled enough for that.”
- “No one will take me seriously.”
- “I probably won’t succeed anyway.”
- “I don’t know enough to compete with the people in my industry.”
I know it does to me… I didn’t even know I was self sabotaging until I read about it!
My advice
Work on your mindset.
Mindset is everything. Self sabotaging takes place in your mind 100% of the time.
The more you repeat the negative thoughts, the more you will feed into the lie. Restructure your sentences and recognize these life-changing facts:
- You are more knowledgeable on the topic you’re interested in than most people! I hesitated to start this blog for years because I didn’t feel proficient enough. Turns out I actually know a thing or two.
- You can learn. Did I know anything about websites? No. However, I spend countless hours figuring it out. There’s always room for improvement.
- You are allowed to get excited about your dreams. I am all about working in silence and letting success make the noise. However, you can get excited about your goals.
- You deserve recognition. Stop downplaying your successes and achievements.
2. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself
Do you set extremely high standards for yourself? Do you push yourself to outperform?
It’s a sign of self sabotage. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to meet these standards only to be left feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and anxious.
My advice
There are 2 points that will help you overcome this:
- Set goals according to the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Bound) – If you aren’t familiar with the SMART method I recommend you read this for a deep dive.
- Recognize your wins – Celebrate all your milestones. We often overlook our wins when we fixate on the end goal.
3. Perfectionism, the silent assassin
It’s both a blessing and a curse. Let me explain.
Your work and designs will be perfected into masterpieces BUT you will rarely make any progress and delay successes i.e. self sabotage.
My advice
To let go of perfectionism is not easy. But it’s a hurdle you’ll have to overcome.
You’ll never take the leap if you wait for something to be perfect.
Gather courage and do it anyway.
4. All control freaks gather here
Raise your hand if you are a control freak. *Raises hand*
You are unknowingly self sabotaging yourself because you of it.
Wanting control over everything will make you anxious, overwhelmed, and annoyed.
My advice
Take control of the things you can and let go of the things you can’t.
You don’t understand how much peace you’ll experience once you grasp this concept! It is the most recent lesson I learned.
I wanted full control of my life, finances, and the people around me. I know it sounds bad and I am not proud of it.
Then I realized that I could not control other people’s actions and words and my level of peace increased immensely. Suddenly there isn’t a ‘tug-of-war‘ for control anymore.
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5. Are you on the procrastination station?
There are a lot of reasons we procrastinate but they all come down to one thing. Yes, you guessed it: self sabotage.
Some reasons are:
- Fear of failure or judgment
- Perfectionism
- Low self-esteem
- Etc
My advice
Check out these 4 ways to beat procrastination for a more in-depth guide.
Here are a few quick tips:
- Avoid productive procrastination – The amount of times I cleaned my dorm room instead of studying is hilarious!
- Use the Pomodoro technique for better time management.
- Do the task you’re dreading the most first and get it over with.
- Break tasks down into smaller chunks.
6. Low self-esteem
How many times has low confidence kept you from pursuing your goals or even just being yourself?
Confidence can transform your sabotage into a slay! There are so many benefits to being confident:
- Increased self-worth
- Improved mental health
- Reduced social anxiety
- Greater success
- Better relationships
- Increased resilience
My advice
As I said multiple times, confidence is all about habits, physical and mental. And habits can be learned.
Here are a few tips for how to be more confident:
- Learn to say no
- Accept that it’s okay to be wrong
- Know the proper body language
- Never over-explain
- Embrace failure for its value
Go check out the 13 Powerful Habits Of Confident Women Who Enjoy Life for more tips!
7. Let go of comparison
Another one of the signs of self sabotage is when you tend to compare yourself to others. You may compare your successes, material possessions, lives, or outer appearances.
All of these roads lead to self-loathing.
My advice
We all fall into the trap of comparison:
- “Oh, she got a brand new car and meanwhile I’m stuck with this thing.”
- “Why can they always go on these luxurious holidays?”
- “I wish I looked like that.”
Sound familiar?
My number one cause for comparison was social media, mostly highlight reel central – Instagram. I envied the people who got to explore the world and it stole my joy. So what did I do about it?
*Delete*. No, actually I didn’t do that. However, it might work for you. Instead, I rewired the algorithm and unfollowed the accounts. I made sure I didn’t see those reels anymore, as beautiful as they may have been.
Here are a few extra tips if your comparison does not come from social media:
- Acknowledge your wins.
- Start practicing gratitude
- Avoid your triggers
- Celebrate other’s victories
- Become your own competition
8. Stop seeking external approval
I reveled in external validation, unfortunately. However, I don’t do any more *celebratory pat on the back*.
The moment you do something for someone else’s approval instead of yourself, it’s a sign of self sabotage, hun.
My advice
Why do you seek external validation? Say it with me, identify the problem to find the solution.
Teach yourself the following to overcome validation:
- Talk kinder to yourself
- Set boundaries with yourself and others
- Practice self-love
- Trust yourself
- Form your own opinions
Conclusion
Yes, some of the advice overlaps. But that’s because they have a common goal: to help you overcome self-sabotage and become your best self.
You can transform your mindset by understanding the signs of self sabotage and implementing the solutions.
With a consistent effort, you can challenge self-doubt, step out of your comfort zone, and unlock your full potential.
Let me know which sign you relate to the most in the comments and share your steps to self-improvement!
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Have a great day wherever you are in the world!
Love, Steph ♥
